guilt trip

I feel guilty because I didn't go to the hospital today. I went to Frank's house instead and did some work on the book. It's not my book and it's not his book but we're both working on it. Go figure.

But I didn't go to the hospital and I feel guilty. I feel like something might go wrong because I didn't go. I imagine the Filipino nurses clucking over my absence, asking each other, "What happened to the other daughter? She didn't come tonight, huh?"

I should go to bed.

The wind is blowing and the house is shuddering. Some door somewhere keeps soft-slamming itself. The whole house shakes. It scares me.