30 posts tagged “qotd”

Who is your favorite game show host of all time?

How is this even a question? Everybody's Favorite Game Show Host is... Guy Smiley!!!

Guysmiley

What are five things that make you unique?
Submitted by RA<3TA.

If by unique you mean "the only one of its kind," then I am the only unique thing about me. If you mean unusual, I suppose there are a few things. Let's see.

1. My blood type is A negative, which is true of only about five percent of the people in the U.S.

2. I hated Pulp Fiction. Actually, I refused to finish it because I was so repulsed. I don't want to waste my time on anything that Quentin Tarantino touches. I consider him venal. Luckily, he doesn't seem to work much anymore. Found the ending of American Beauty incredibly irritating. Turned off Moulin Rouge after about ten minutes. A.I. was torture. Yet I can laugh myself silly over a movie like White Chicks.

3. I have never had a manicure or a pedicure. For my FFF* demographic, that's somewhat unusual.

4. I couldn't think of anything else so I asked my daughter (Felony). She said, "Your sign is a dragon, but your spirit animal is a bear. Those are both motherly animals." When I expressed confusion, she pointed out that the dragon in Shrek was maternal. Then she said, "And the dragons usually fall for asses!"

5. I am like my mother in that I can be vulgar and starchy all at the same time, except I can be far more vulgar and perhaps even occasionally more starchy.

* Fair, fat, and fortysomething.

What's your favorite type of cheese? Or, if you don't like cheese, why not?
Submitted by Draegon Scribe.

My favorite cheese is Lappi and I haven't had it in ages. It's not terribly exciting, as cheeses go, but I like it very much and it is impossible to find around here. I would describe it as the lovechild of Havarti and Swiss. It comes from Finland.

This question reminded me of the infamous interview that Courtney Love did, circa 1993, with Lisa Carver, editor and publisher of a zine called Rollerderby:

COURTNEY: I have a tip! I lost forty pounds, and I have a real tip. I was fat from fourteen to twenty-four. When you're fat like I was, which was five feet eight inches and 150 to 170 pounds, you do not get to fuck the boys you want to fuck. Right? ... Right?

LISA: Perhaps.

COURTNEY: The minute I got skinny and got a nose job and became photogenic, all of a sudden I have a bidding war, and every boy I ever wanted, wanted me.

LISA: What's your tip?

COURTNEY: The thing you gotta do is — A! Stop counting calories! Okay? B! Do not get on a scale! 'Cause lean muscle weighs more than fat. All right? I cut out FAT! That's all you gotta do. FAT! No cheese. That's it, Lisa. I told this to KROQ, I told this to my nanny. People I tell this to lose ten, 30 pounds. STOP CHEESE. You know why the Orientals are not fat? Cause they look on cheese as this gross, Western habit — it's like sour milk LARD. They don't want anything to fucking do with cheese. If you're gonna eat cheese, take it out on a picnic, cut it up carefully, and really taste it — with wine or something. Don't melt it on shit. And I lost 40 POUNDS by not eating cheese. And I even ate a little mayonnaise. All right? Skip the butter and skip the cheese and you will lose weight. I swear to God, Lisa. I was a fat girl my whole life. No one would fuck me, and when they did they'd do things like fart in front of me. I told my friend that this guy farted in front of me, and you know what he said?

LISA: Nn-nn.

COURTNEY: He said, "Well, look at her; wouldn't you fart in front of her?"

LISA: Oh! Here's my second question —

COURTNEY: Don't eat cheese. There are a million things to eat that are not cheese.

What are you most sensitive about? 

I'm sensitive about being wrong, being perceived as wrong, and especially about being declared wrong when I am in fact right. Also damn sensitive about being wronged (see previous).

What was your first car?

1967 Ford Mustang. Super Sport. Burgundy.

Posh and Becks have moved to Los Angeles: [is this good?]

I'm a bit out of date, but I can't let this one go without commenting that this is hands-down the silliest QOTD I can remember. I don't really see how anyone could possibly be excited about this event, though I have noticed some squawking about it, of course; otherwise I would never have guessed that the United States was suffering from a celebrity shortage. It seems astonishing that we don't have quite enough aging sports legends of our own to revere, to say nothing of washed-up pop stars, and we must send our ambassadors of Scientology abroad to lure more of them to Hollywood. Or perhaps Michael Jordan and Joe Montana and Mia Hamm and Shaquille O'Neal and Steve Young and Nolan Ryan and Brandi Chastain and John Elway and Magic Johnson and Dan Marino and Cheryl Swopes and Sammy Sosa and all the people in that long, long line of athletic excellence--well, maybe they're just not titillating enough.

As for the spice girl, I thought the FARK headline got it just about right:

America already sick of looking at Victoria Beckham's leathery orange face

What sites show up if you type "S" into your browser's address bar?

http://shrekthethrid.com/  <-- Jinx typed this

http://www.shrek.com/  <-- and this

https://signin.ebay.com/...

http://salebooks.com/

https://secure.logmein.com/...

http://shrekthethird.com/  <--- and this

Where do you go to get away from it all? 
Submitted by Hops.  

To the bathroom.

Out of all the Vox posts you've written, which is your favorite? Why? 
Submitted by Adam.

I'm what you might call slow to acclimate. I feel as if I'm still settling in here; still unpacking and trying to figure out where to put my tchotchkes. At the risk of sounding fatuous, I don't think I've hit my stride. Not even close. To paraphrase my cousin, John Paul Jones, I have only just begun to write.

If you could write like one fiction author, who would it be?
Submitted by Marilyn.

Me. I don't need to write like someone else. I need to be disciplined enough to get individual pieces finished and sent off. Whether or not my fiction is where I would like it to be, I wouldn't be terribly comfortable reminding you of someone else. I think I have it in me to get it somewhere interesting on my own.

That isn't to say I don't experience the phenomenon of reading something and saying, "Wow. I wish I had written that."

Many years ago my work was compared to that of Raymond Carver. More than once. I didn't take it as a compliment. At the time there was a lot of talk going around about "trailer park" fiction, and I assumed I was being relegated to that double-wide. I'm not convinced my writing is very much like that of Raymond Carver, but I apologize to his memory for not being more gracious in my thoughts. It was a great compliment and I should have taken it as such.